the mary poppins effect/ memory dump

some time i wish i could just write a list of specs on paper and throw it into fire and have it float away and find me the perfect women. i dunno i dunt really ask for much tbo. youd think that people would be looking for a sensertive,open kinda guy.well you know nice guys finish last, i just had a flash back of me sitting in my bed as a kid watching the mask:> it made me smile. anyways back to the point i need someone simerler to me in many ways but then so so different in others, alot of the girls these days are idiots, i have a high respect for women but some women deserve to be sterio typed and guys reading this will know what i mean, i need a talkative person who lie shareing, i cannot stress that point more, being loney sucks esspiecaly if it can be avoided easy;that makes it worse. she has to have an imaginetion and common sence, i find my self not sleeping for days sometime when im just thining of stuff, sometime i wish i could turn my brain off it always on hyper mode, im always eather upsetting myself or screing my self these days, i guess it has its  up sides like creativity. i dunt think it sohuld be possible to imagine something so strongly that it mine aswell be real evan though that would push it over the edge. i sorround myself with nice and comforting things to look at so that my brain doesnt deside to ahve a fit when i have nothing to do.i need to think of something great. ifeel like a chess player when it comes to chosing thing, the other day i spent 5 minutes desideing what sandwich to chose infront of the freezer. i want someone to share my mind with if knowone else not evan one person knows about what im thinking and i havent evan said it to anyone does it mean i might as well not as thought it as it cant be comfirmed to of evan been there in the first place. i miss meaningful hugs.i love the part just alfter you wake up and your brains in soft mode and you hug the person next to you. most rewarding hug ever.also miss having someone to exist with in my spare time lol cos thats basicly what i do.