dream log #1;end of the world as we know it.

   last night i had a dream that the world ended, but it wasn't a night mare. the basic out line is that aliens attacked suddenly and destroyed all out technology. the sky turned a deep purple or blue and a deep feeling came upon me;like when your about to fall of a chair.
   then all of a sudden white orb descended from the sky a proceeded to crash into the buildings but not before i realized that all my family were probably dead. as these white obs crashed into the buildings all surrounding technology exploded and short circuited. thousands of these orbs came from the sky;before i knew it all civilization was reduced to the stone age, the dream then flash slightly further into the future and we were all enslaved but the aliens, it was quite weird and reminded me of mad max crossed with Egyptian slaves building a pyramid.
   the only part that pissed me off was at some point my ex girl Friend was on the scene with some guy; he had a beard. it was upsetting because she was being really "lovey" with him, she fed me some story that they were put together during the first attack and that ever since then they be really close. strangely when everything was exploding i thought about my ipod lol. then i woke up to my mate ringing me on my phone.
   i get stressed out because i have about 3-4 dreams every morning;i wake up more tired than when i went to bed sometimes.

english eh. peh

  Note to self never bring back friends from the pub, i have learn my lesson. chose to bring back a mate John from the pub, he loves to ramble about his past achievements as he has an absence of current ones, took me 30 minutes to get him to leave it was annoying as he desired to pass wind for 4 seconds as he got up. will be cautious about inviting him round again, evan though we played some sega and it was aright;he's just too "pub-like".
  I think I mite be bi-polar after looking over yesterdays post. well ill just add that to list of things that could be possibly be wrong with me.

  I've also decided to take the blog 30 day challenge. i think it will be a good for my writing skills and brain if i wrote alot more, who knows maybe something good will come of it.

A loud screech.

  while waiting a had a thought; again, can't get rid of the fucking things, about the sound that my soul would be probably be making if you hooked it up somehow. I decided that it would be a very hi pitch screech, from the fuck dire distress my soul is in. I don't think soul food is going to cut it this time, I'm am so fucking unhappy with the way things are with me at the moment that I'm finding it hard to find the strength to march forward with this never ending crusade we call life, I'm sick of these trials and trebulations, these merry mishaps of show give a shit. It is going to have to stop or at least be lessened to point where it becomes background noise or... I guess I will do nothing about it.
   Also starting to gain a dislike the company of people to a point where id rather stay at home, it not a constant thing, it just phases in and out. I guess this is the beginning of me showing signs of a different type of agoraphobia that I cant name where you just stay inside because you prefer it. The only problem I find is that this feeling with me never lasts long and if I'm honest ill probably feel fine tomorrow; which leave me with the thought why bother writing about it, well because id like to catalogue these happenings and calculate there frequency so that i can prove to my self I'm not a bad person.
  On the other hand today was alright if you take out the self loathing/jealousy/hatred/why the fuck am I bothering walking on this fucking cursed planet:).
   Have a nice day don't let me sour it I'm just venting my poison thoughts out.

just a thought, the four walls

      just a thought; How much control do i really have over my environment if the parameters are  of my room; and also if the walls could speak or communicate, what would they say about me and how would they describe me as a person; as they have always seen me for who i am and i have never lied or been shy towards them.

     
I then thought maybe that's why we grow addicted to are rooms and dependant on our belongings; there basically all silent witness's, which i think we all need at some point to help us rest out minds from people talking in our faces.

inspiration. Quaint am i?

A few days ago I saw someone's Blog and it inspired me to make a Blog and a poem.

Quaint am I?

sometimes I feel that struggle is essential;
to what we call consuming our human potential,
at times I find that my mind is a contraption;
often reaching a point of cataclysmic reaction,
oh why I ask must it be the latter;
often you'll find time, will make you the fatter,
if not to primitively break a fall;
how will we cope with it all in all,
the difference between us is often quite faint;
tell me why I am the one you find so quaint,
you act like I am the one who wont do;
dismay and terror, the obvious is most often true.